Hi friends, I’m Julie Mattson, and today we’re taking it all the way back to where it all began, my very first episode of Pushing Up Lilies. Whether you’re new here or you’ve been with me from the start, this is a special one.
In this episode, I introduce myself and share how I went from being a nurse to becoming a Forensic Nurse Death Investigator and a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner. With more than 21 years in the field, I’ve witnessed the darkest corners of humanity, but also the strength, resilience, and stories that need to be told.
I created this podcast to give you a glimpse into the world I walk through every day, one where death tells its own story. So join me as I pull back the curtain on the cases, the chaos, and the calling that led me here.
This is where it all started. Listen in…
Listener discretion is advised.
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
00:06
Thanks for listening! Welcome to Pushing Up Lilies. I’m your host, Julie Mattson. Pushing Up Lilies is a weekly true crime podcast with spine-tingling, unusual, and terrifyingly true stories from my perspective as a forensic death investigator and a sexual assault nurse examiner.
00:24
Do I have some stories for you? Are you ready? So, my journey as a forensic nurse began quite some time ago. I got out of nursing school. At that time, there was no such thing as forensic nursing. I was a charge nurse in the local emergency room, and my unit director came up and asked me to train to be a sexual assault nurse examiner.
00:54
At the time, of course, I didn’t know much about what it was, but I did know that when we had a patient come into the emergency room that had been sexually assaulted, we would struggle to do the exam correctly because we would do the rape kit on that patient.
01:13
And it would take probably about four hours because the directions were so detailed. We didn’t want to mess anything up. It would take us away from all of our other patients. We would have to give them to another nurse and struggle to do the rape kit correctly.
01:30
It was just really a long, drawn-out process. They had decided, well, we’re going to train nurses to do this. They would do this all the time. They would be experienced. They would know what they’re doing.
01:42
They would be able to testify in court and know what trauma looked like from a sexual assault aspect. My boss asked me to do that, and I did, reluctantly. I wasn’t super excited about it. I really…
02:00
didn’t really know what I was getting into. But over the years, and of course I’ve done that for 21 years, over the years of testifying in court and actually helping get those perpetrators sentenced, many of them or most of them life in prison was so invigorating to have that power to be able to help get justice for the victims.
02:29
Over the years, I wanted to know more about forensics. I wanted to know what I could do to help in the forensics field. Keep in mind, this is before CSI and before forensic files. None of that stuff was really on TV yet, right?
02:45
Forensic nursing was just becoming a thing. So, I called my local medical examiner’s office and asked them how I could learn to be a death investigator. They told me to just get the training anywhere I could…
02:58
save all my certificates and keep my CV updated, which is what I did. I sent myself to the University of St. Louis to the medical school and I took the training course. I could not get certified because I was not working in the field of death investigation, but I at least took the course and came home with that knowledge so that I could start looking for a job in death investigation.
03:25
I found one in Harris County. I moved to Houston, and I worked there for years and got so much experience working with the best of the best. Houston is such a melting pot of people. There were all sorts of different things going on there, which they go on everywhere, we just don’t hear about them.
03:45
But I got the best experience ever. Then I moved back to this area, worked briefly as deputy chief for Dallas County, then got the job working for Denton County as a forensic death investigator, which is where I’m at now.
04:04
And it’s kind of strange because when I was a child, I was scared to death of death. I would go to sleep at night; afraid I wouldn’t wake up. I thought that the last thing I said to my parents before I went to bed was the last thing they were ever gonna hear from me.
04:21
So, to find myself working in this field now is a little strange to me. People always ask me; how do you do it? How do you do it and still be happy? Do you not take that stuff home with you? Don’t you have dreams?
04:35
And I don’t, and I think what makes it easier for me is in the hospital when you’re taking care of patients. You get to know them, you get to know their family, you almost feel like you’re a part of their family, and then something happens.
04:50
They code, then they’re gone, and you feel like you’ve lost a family member. After going through that, for years and years or having people come into the ER talking, they’re having chest pain but they’re still talking, and then code and then pass away.
05:10
You try to connect with your patients, and you feel like you know them. You get to know the families and a little about the dynamics over time and then it’s really difficult when something happens to them because you do really feel like you lost a family member.
05:23
It was harder there for me than it is now. I do make sure when I get a call that I don’t know the person. I always ask the police when they call to report a death to me what the name of the person is and there are cases where they don’t know or somebody’s a John Doe or Jane Doe and they’re unidentified but for the most part I need to know what their name is because I do not want to go on a death scene when someone that I know or a close friend or someone has passed away.
05:54
We do have protocols in place where we kind of step up for each other as investigators to help in situations like that so that we’re not having to go out on a death of someone that we do know. So, in a nutshell, all of that being said, I guess I can say probably better than most people that you can overcome your fears and that you can be successful and reach your goals.
06:23
Because if I could do it, I mean, anyone can. All my fears were real as a child and growing up, of death. My mom was a nurse. She always told me, don’t be a nurse, you’re underpaid, you’re overworked, and she had a bookshelf full of books, and what did I do?
06:40
I didn’t read anything, but I looked at the pictures. I wanted to see blood. I wanted to see guts. I wanted to see cuts and all the things. So that’s what I looked for in all the pictures of her nursing books for some strange morbid reason.
06:54
But it was fascinating to me. If you’re interested in forensic nursing or nursing in general and you have questions or anything, just definitely reach out and I can kind of, I guess, help in some way or try to answer some of your questions if I can.
07:12
So that’s a little about me. And hopefully, if anyone is considering the field of death investigation or sexual assault nursing or just nursing in general, you can always reach out to me, and I will answer questions for you.
07:26
And if I can’t, I will get the answer for you. But always know that your goals are attainable. Thank you so much for joining me today on Pushing Up Lilies. If you like this podcast and would like to share with others, please do me a quick favor and leave a review on Apple Podcast.
07:46
This helps to make the podcast more visible to the public. Thanks again for spending your time with me. And be sure to visit me at PushingUpLilies.com for merchandise and past episodes.