In this episode of Pushing Up Lilies, I’m covering the heartbreaking case of Rachel Castillo, a young mother whose disappearance in Southern California led investigators to a devastating discovery, and ultimately, the conviction of her estranged husband, Zarbab Ali. Rachel vanished during what should have been a routine custody exchange involving her children. But almost immediately, investigators began uncovering signs that something was terribly wrong. What followed was an intense investigation involving surveillance footage, blood evidence, digital tracking, and a search that ended with Rachel’s body being found buried in a remote area. As a forensic death investigator, I walk through how cases like this begin to unfold behind the scenes, how small pieces of evidence start forming a timeline, how investigators interpret behavioral patterns, and how critical those early investigative decisions become when someone suddenly disappears under suspicious circumstances. This episode contains discussion of domestic violence, homicide, and burial concealment. Listener discretion is advised. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT: 00:06 Welcome to Pushing Up Lilies. I’m your host, Julie Mattson. Pushing Up Lilies is a weekly true crime podcast with spine-tingling, unusual, and terrifyingly true stories from my perspective as a forensic death investigator and a sexual assault nurse examiner. 00:24 Do I have some stories for you? Are you ready? Hey guys, this is Julie with Pushing Up Lilies, and I can’t even begin to explain how excited I am about going to CrimeCon. I’ve never even been as just a bystander. 00:45 What little I know about it, I have learned from my new podcast friend who have been there before. And this year, I didn’t get on Creator’s Road. That was my goal. It didn’t happen. It’s fine. We’ll do it next year, y’all. 01:03 This year, I’m an exhibitor. It was rather expensive to be an exhibitor, which is fine. I feel like that’s one way to get the word out, to allow people to see who I am and to learn a little bit about my podcast. 01:18 Maybe will give me a head start for next year. But this year, I’m in Exhibitors Hall and I’m in booth 62. I’m happy to announce that my, thanks to FMG Network and my producer, Jody Colvard, my comic book is going to be for sale, limited edition at my booth at CrimeCon this year. 01:44 So super excited about that. And we are leaving on Thursday. Haven’t even packed. Don’t know what I’m wearing. Completely unorganized. I have clinical tomorrow. Life is lifing and it’s going to work out. 02:01 It always does. I’ve never been one to plan weeks and weeks ahead. Although I did have to plan a little bit in advance for CrimeCon because I did have to mail all of my merch like two weeks in advance. 02:14 So, UPS came and picked up 10 boxes from my home and delivered them at the warehouse in Vegas. They’ve all been delivered. I’ve gotten confirmation. So, they’re there, which is, it’s hard for me to kind of let go of that and make sure everything gets where it’s supposed to be. 02:32 They all arrived. And so, I’m super excited that when we get there to our booth, we call and bring them over from the warehouse to our booth. And then we unload the boxes and then they take the empty boxes back to the warehouse. 02:45 It sounds like a well-oiled machine. We shall see. I am already getting ideas for next year. So, I guess that’s the way it happens, right? When you start doing things like this. I’m getting some invitations to attend other conferences, which I so appreciate. 03:04 I do need to try to find some sponsors because these things aren’t free and podcasting pays $0 an hour unless you have a sponsor. So, what little bit of monetary value that I’m getting from this now is just selling my merch. 03:21 So, if you are interested, all of my merch will be available on my website soon. And if you’re coming to CrimeCon, stop by Booth 62 in the exhibitors hall and buy some. I would very much appreciate it. 03:34 Now, I do have to say, okay, we’re leaving Thursday. We’ll be back on June 1st. Caesar’s Palace. It’s going to be so fun. I have to say I’m a little bit nervous because, again, I’ve never been there, but everything seems to always kind of work out. 03:51 So, I’m trying not to sweat it and not to worry too much. But I do have to tell y’all that I discovered today that today is my 200th episode. So what I’m going to do, I’m going to post something about my 200th episode on Facebook and I will give you the opportunity to drop in your email, a private message me, your email, and that’ll put you in a drawing for a giveaway. 04:19 I’m just feeling like giving stuff away. So, I feel like we need to celebrate in some way. 200 episodes is huge. That actually is a little less than four years. I think that that’s a milestone. And y’all, I’ve done this in my closet floor on my laptop every week for four years. 04:42 If that’s not commitment, I don’t know what is. I would love your support. Follows and shares are amazing. If you know anybody who’s interested in sponsorship, that would be even more amazing. But I look forward to seeing all of you who are planning to come to CrimeCon. 05:00 I want to talk this week about a case that makes you very angry, and a lot of them do. This one also makes you sad, as most of them do. There are a lot of cases that make you physically uncomfortable because they force you to look directly into the darkest corners of human behavior. 05:20 And this is one of those cases. This is the story of Rachel Castillo, and she was a 25-year-old
The Shocking Torture and Murder of Sonia Exelby
In this episode of Pushing Up Lilies, I’m covering the tragic and deeply disturbing case of Sonia Exelby, a 32-year-old woman from Portsmouth, England, who traveled to the United States in October of 2024… and never made it home. According to investigators, Sonia flew into Gainesville, Florida, after connecting online with a man named Dwain Hall through a fetish website. She was expected to return to the UK just three days later, but she never boarded her flight. What followed became an international homicide investigation that shocked both sides of the Atlantic. As I walk through the timeline of Sonia’s final days, I do so with compassion and care, because beneath the headlines was a real woman whose life mattered. A woman who trusted someone she believed she knew… and whose story ended in unimaginable tragedy. From an investigative standpoint, I also discuss the complexities of cases involving online relationships, long-distance travel, digital evidence, and how quickly missing person cases can escalate into homicide investigations. This episode is not about judgment or sensationalism. It’s about understanding the vulnerability that can exist in human connection, the realities investigators face in cases like this, and honoring the victim at the center of the story. This episode contains discussion of violence, homicide, and sensitive themes involving online exploitation. Please take care of yourself while listening. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT: 00:06 Welcome to Pushing Up Lilies. I’m your host, Julie Mattson. Pushing Up Lilies is a weekly true crime podcast with spine-tingling, unusual, and terrifyingly true stories from my perspective as a forensic death investigator and a sexual assault nurse examiner. 00:24 Do I have some stories for you? Are you ready? Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Pushing Up Lilies. I hope this microphone works. I had to recharge it. I had like half of this recorded and then it went down. 00:42 Anyway, I wanted to mention this week that we are having another True Crime Club meetup. It’s going to be this Friday, May 15th at 6.30 at McCart Street Mercantile at 137 West McCart Street in Krum. 00:59 It’s the same place we had our last one. At this one, it’s going to be a lot of fun. Again, it’s hosted by our blended table, which is a wonderful coffee bar inside the McCart Street Mercantile. My friend Tiana owns it and she’s amazing and just one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. 01:18 So, if you get a chance to go in there, stop by and talk to her. A game we’re going to play this week is, it was developed by a lady that I met at Beyond the Crime. Her entire family are attorneys. And basically, the game uses real life scenarios to teach players about interrogations and misdemeanors and felonies. 01:44 And she read some of the cards to me and it’s called, again, crime or no crime. And it basically tests you, you know, if this happened, is it a crime or not? And many of them that she asked me, I got wrong. 01:58 I thought I was fairly educated, but y’all, I would be in a lot of trouble because a lot of these things I thought were okay are not okay. I love this game. And we all know that ignorance of the law is no defense. 02:12 So, it kind of helps to learn. And some of the questions are things that you would never really think of. But a lot of them that she asked me about were things that I really thought were okay. So, it’s going to be a lot of fun. 02:28 We’re going to have paddles, and you’ll be able to answer yes or no. We’re going to give away some prizes. So come see us this Friday, at 6.30 at McCart Street Mercantile. The owner Heather is amazing too. 02:40 And y’all, there are some absolutely gorgeous handmade items in there that are the best gifts ever. I personally shop in there a lot for special events because there are things in there that you won’t find anywhere else and I love it. 02:59 Check them out. 137 West McCart Street, Krum, Texas, and you can also purchase online. I do want to talk a little bit about a very interesting case this week, but also, I shipped all my stuff to CrimeCon. 03:15 I think I told you all that last week. Super excited. It’s supposed to get there today. I am anxiously awaiting my UPS confirmation because I’m a little nervous. I mean, I mailed 10 boxes and I just hope that all 10 get there when they’re supposed to and they go to the right place and nothing gets lost or broken or stolen because shipping is expensive. 03:40 Shipping, it was unbelievable. Anyway, we’ll get on to this week, but I would love for all of you who are coming to CrimeCon to come and meet me. I’m in booth 62 in the exhibitors hall. And again, lots of giveaways at my booth, prizes to be given away. 04:02 And I will also be signing copies of my new comic book. So come and get that because those supplies are going to be limited. Okay, this week we’re going to talk about Sonia Exelby. We’re going to do a little forensic breakdown. 04:16 I don’t know if y’all have heard this story, but we’re going to give you the facts. We’re going to give you what we know. On October 10th, 2025, 32-year-old woman from Portsmouth, England named Sonia Exelby boarded a flight from the United Kingdom to the United States. 04:32 Now, she landed at Gainesville Regional Airport in north central Florida, and she was met at the airport by a 53-year-old man that she’d been speaking with online for roughly about two years. Three days later, Sonia missed her return flight home. 04:48 Her parents reported her missing, and six days after that, on October 17th, her remains
Inside the Crime that Shook a Community – Part Three
In this episode of Pushing Up Lilies, I continue Inside the Crime That Shook a Community with Part Three, focusing on the trial of the man responsible for the death of 7-year-old Athena Strand. This is the part of the story where the legal process begins… but that doesn’t make it any easier. As I walk through the courtroom proceedings, I do so with the same care and intention, because behind every testimony, every piece of evidence, and every legal argument is a family still living with unimaginable loss. Trials are meant to bring answers.They’re meant to bring accountability. But they don’t always bring peace. From an investigative perspective, I also share insight into what happens when a case moves from the scene into the courtroom, how evidence is presented, how timelines are reconstructed, and how the justice system works to piece together the truth in a way that can be understood by a jury. And while this part of the story focuses on the trial…I want to be very clear about something. This is not about the man who committed the crime. It is still about Athena. Her life.Her memory.And the impact she left behind. This episode contains discussion of child violence, courtroom testimony, and sensitive details surrounding the case. Please take care of yourself while listening, and step away if you need to. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT: 00:06 Welcome to Pushing Up Lilies. I’m your host, Julie Mattson. Pushing Up Lilies is a weekly true crime podcast with spine-tingling, unusual, and terrifyingly true stories from my perspective as a forensic death investigator and a sexual assault nurse examiner. 00:24 Do I have some stories for you? Are you ready? Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Pushing Up Lilies. This is your host, Julie Mattson. I can’t even tell you how excited I am about CrimeCon. I have never been as a spectator, an exhibitor, or a creator. 00:47 So, I’m super excited to get to go this year. I’m an exhibitor. I could not get on Creator’s Row. I understand that that’s rather difficult. And so, I’m going as an exhibitor, kind of get my foot in the door. 00:58 And I’m hoping to go to Crime Cruise also in November, which travels out of Florida. So if you are planning on going, stop and see me. I would love to visit with you. I’ll have all my merch there. We’re going to do the canvas bags, pens, stickers, t-shirts, hoodies, and poker chips. 01:18 My chips are clay. I think I told y’all I ordered the clay ones. I wanted it to be like a real souvenir and not something that was easy to throw away and super lightweight. So anyway, they’re clay. I’m excited about those. 01:32 They’re cute. They’ve got like my QR code on the back. So, you can go straight to my website. But my merch will be available on the website soon. It’s all new designed stuff that will be available at CrimeCon. 01:46 The first time it’s been available was at Beyond the Crime when we went to New Mexico last month. So, it’s all kind of new design and we sold a lot of merch at Beyond the Crime. So that was so much fun. 01:59 I’m really looking forward to Crime Con. Three days, I think last year they said 6,000 people attended Caesar’s Palace and it’s May 29th through 31st and so super excited. Look forward to seeing you there. 02:13 This week, I want to talk a little more about the Athena Strand case. Again, it’s not one that I really wanted to cover, but I wanted to make sure that I covered just the facts, not guessing what’s happening or guessing what’s going on in people’s heads, but just kind of covering the story and what’s going on. 02:34 So, this episode is a heavy one. And before I get into it, again, I want to say out loud that there are a lot of cases that I cover and you just move on. And there are ones that kind of stay with you even after I stop recording. 02:48 And this is one of those because at the center of everything, we’re about to talk about, it’s not just a case and it’s not just evidence and it’s not just a defendant sitting in the courtroom. It’s a little girl. 02:59 Athena was only seven. What we’re walking through today is the sentencing phase of Tanner Horner’s trial. Now, he already pled guilty, so there’s no question about whether or not he did this. That part is done. 03:12 So now the jury is left with one decision. And it’s one of the hardest decisions any jury will ever have to make. Is he going to get life in prison without parole or the death penalty? And to get there, unfortunately, they had to sit through days of testimony and listen to witnesses who reminded the courtroom who Athena was. 03:36 Some of them walked through exactly what happened and others kind of tried to explain who Tanner Horner is and how he became the person sitting at the defense table. Now, I want to cover a little bit about like what happened during the trial days because like me, I work. 03:55 I can’t sit and watch the trial all day long. I would love to because it’s super interesting. And I did watch the O.J. Simpson trial. I remember back in the day, but that was before life started lifing. 04:09 On the first day, the tone was set pretty much. Tanner Horner stood up. He pleaded guilty. There was no drawn out trial over guilt and no uncertainty at all. It was just acknowledgement, basically. In a way, that shifts the entire weight of the trial because now the jury’s not trying to figure out if he did it. 04:31 They’re just trying to figure out what to do with the truth.
Inside the Crime that Shook a Community – Part Two
In this episode of Pushing Up Lilies, I continue the heartbreaking case of 7-year-old Athena Strand. This is Part Two of a story that is as heavy as it is important. As we move forward, I walk through what happened after Athena’s disappearance, the investigation, the critical moments that unfolded, and the pieces that began to come together in a case that gripped so many people. This part of the story brings more clarity, but it also brings a deeper understanding of just how quickly lives can change forever. I approach this episode with the same care and intention, honoring Athena, respecting her family, and being mindful of the weight this story carries for listeners. From an investigative standpoint, I also share insight into how cases evolve once key information is uncovered, how law enforcement works against time, how decisions are made in real-time, and how those early hours can shape everything that follows. But even as more details emerge…I want to keep the focus where it belongs. On Athena. On her life, her light, and the love that surrounds her. This episode continues discussions of child abduction and violence. Please take care of yourself while listening, and step away if you need to. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT: 00:06 Welcome to Pushing Up Lilies. I’m your host, Julie Mattson. Pushing Up Lilies is a weekly true crime podcast with spine-tingling, unusual, and terrifyingly true stories from my perspective as a forensic death investigator and a sexual assault nurse examiner. 00:24 Do I have some stories for you? Are you ready? Hey guys, Julie here with Pushing Up Lilies. We’re back for part two of the story of Athena Strand. It’s one week closer to Chrome-Con. I’m so excited. I am getting ready to start shipping my stuff. 00:46 I decided we’re going to fly instead of drive. Obviously, I can’t get it all in my suitcases. So, I’m going to have tons of pens and stickers and the special bloodbath soaps made just for us by Soaping Up Life here in Crumb. 01:07 She’s amazing. All of her soaps are handmade, hand-poured, and they smell delicious. This is lavender and lemongrass, and you’re going to love it. And then also I’m going to have the hoodies and the T-shirts and the canvas bags and our special poker chips. 01:25 And these are clay poker chips. So, they’re heavy. They’re great keepsakes. And I think I decided I’m going to go around to all the podcasters and collect their pins. That’s kind of something I think that I can put in my office. 01:38 It’s going to be super cool to collect. It’s just going to be fun. I have never been even as a spectator. So, I’m excited to see what it’s all about. And maybe next year I can get on Creator’s Row. I’ve applied for about three years and haven’t been able to get on, but they swear there’s no rhyme or reason that they choose podcasters, not based on how long they’ve been podcasting, but just kind of randomly. 02:07 So, I don’t know how that works. Evidently, there is no secret, but we’ll just cross our fingers for next year. I’m super excited. So, I can’t wait to go again at Caesar’s Palace, May 29th through 31st. 02:22 If you don’t have a ticket, you should go online and get it now and meet me there. So, this week again, we’re going to talk about Athena Strand. And as we know, this case is still unwinding. I do also want to cover the days in court and what has taken place during the courtroom testimony. 02:45 Again, I think when we left off, we were talking a little bit about autopsy findings and how critical that information is for prosecutors. It definitely supports the charges and clarifies the timeline and helps juries to really understand the physical reality of the crime that was committed. 03:06 Medical testimony often becomes one of the most influential elements in a trial. That’s because when the pathologist gets on the stand, they can actually describe the injuries and explain the possible cause. 03:23 News of Athena’s death spread very quickly, and the community of Paradise responded obviously with shock and sorrow. There have been a lot of vigils held to honor her memory and families gathering to support one another. 03:38 And of course, the schools have offered counseling services for the students and the staff there. But the case also received national attention because media outlets reported on the investigation and the arrest and also on the impact on the community. 03:55 Conversations about child safety and the screening of delivery drivers and community awareness emerged across the country. Public attention can bring support and pressure. Families often receive messages of sympathy, but of course they also face scrutiny. 04:18 And so, investigators have to balance transparency with the need to protect the integrity of the case. Now, following this investigation, prosecutors charged Tanner Horner with capital murder and aggravated kidnapping. 04:34 And these charges reflected the severity of the crime and the circumstances surrounding Athena’s death. Capital murder – let’s talk a little bit about that. It’s one of the most serious charges in the criminal justice system. 04:49 It carries the possibility of life imprisonment without parole or the death penalty. Now, the case moved through the legal process, including hearings and evidence review and preparation for trial. Prosecutors gathered all the information and documentation, witness testimony, forensic findings, all the things. 05:12 Defense attorneys examined the evidence and prepared their arguments. And then from a forensic perspective, the transition from investigation to courtroom is a very important phase. Evidence has to be organized and presented clearly because every detail from photographs to laboratory reports has to withstand legal scrutiny. 05:36 Now, as the months turned into years after Athena’s death, the legal process moved forward, seemed slow, but it was deliberate. That pace can be frustrating for
Inside the Crime that Shook a Community -Part One
In this episode of Pushing Up Lilies, I’m covering a case that is incredibly difficult to talk about, the kidnapping and murder of 7-year-old Athena Strand, and the man responsible, Tanner Lynn Horner. This is one of those stories that stays with you. Athena was just a child, full of life, curiosity, and innocence, and her disappearance quickly turned into something far more devastating than anyone could have imagined. What makes this case even more unsettling is how ordinary the circumstances seemed at first… and how quickly everything changed. As I walk through the timeline of what happened, I do so with great care, for Athena, for her family, and for anyone listening who may find this story especially heavy. This episode is not about sensationalizing tragedy. It’s about acknowledging it, understanding it, and honoring a life that should have had so much more time. From an investigative perspective, I also touch on how cases like this unfold, how quickly information moves, how critical those first hours are, and the realities behind scenes that most people never see. But at the center of this episode is not the perpetrator.It’s Athena. Her story matters. Her life matters. This episode contains discussion of child abduction and violence, and I encourage you to take care of yourself while listening. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT: 00:06 Welcome to Pushing Up Lilies. I’m your host, Julie Mattson. Pushing Up Lilies is a weekly true crime podcast with spine-tingling, unusual, and terrifyingly true stories from my perspective as a forensic death investigator and a sexual assault nurse examiner. 00:24 Do I have some stories for you? Are you ready? Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Pushing Up Lilies. This is your host, Julie Mattson. I still can’t get over how much fun I had last week at Beyond the Crime. 00:41 And I am really looking forward to CrimeCon. I have so much new merchandise that y’all are going to love. And so, if you get a chance, I’m an exhibitor. Stop by and visit with me and get your pushing up lilies poker chip. 00:57 I want to talk this week about a case that is here in Texas. I know that y’all have heard about it. It’s been all over the news. It’s been on Court TV, and it’s definitely been talked about here because it’s literally right down the road from me. 01:13 I want to start this episode by being completely honest with you. I was not planning to cover this story. In my work as a forensic nurse death investigator, I encounter many cases. A lot of them are widely known and others never make the headlines. 01:31 But over time, you kind of learn to be a little selective about which stories you share publicly, especially when they involve children. Because those cases stay with you in a different way. They’re a lot heavier, they’re harder to talk about, and they require a level of care and respect that really goes beyond ordinary storytelling. 01:54 The reality is that this trial is being broadcast live on court TV, and I know that many people are following this case very closely. Conversations about Athena Strand are happening everywhere, online, in workplaces, in homes, and across the country. 02:13 And when a case involving a child reaches this level of public attention, it really becomes important to discuss the facts very clearly, responsibly, and with professional context. And that’s why I made the decision to cover this story. 02:30 As a forensic nurse death investigator, my role in real life is to examine deaths that occur under suspicious, sudden, or violent circumstances. And so, I’ve worked very closely with law enforcement and prosecutors. 02:48 My job is to document what happened and maybe collect evidence and help determine the cause and manner of death. And it’s very detailed and it’s also very emotional. And it’s work that requires a lot of objectivity and compassion and precision. 03:07 And so, when I talk about this case today, I’m not speaking as a sensational storyteller. I’m speaking as a professional who understands how investigations unfold and how evidence is actually gathered and how the justice system evaluates what happened. 03:26 And more importantly, I’m speaking as someone who understands the impact that cases have on families and communities. So, this episode is going to walk through the full story of Athena Strand, who she was, what happened on November 30th, 2022, how investigators responded, and what jurors are now considering as they decide the sentence for this man who pleaded guilty to her murder. 03:55 Everything discussed here is based on reported facts from news coverage and court proceedings. So, my goal is actually to provide clarity, context, and understanding while also honoring the life of a child whose future was taken far too soon. 04:13 So, before we talk about crime scenes and investigations or courtrooms, we talk a little bit about Athena, because every case begins with a person and not just a headline. Athena was only seven. So many of us can relate. 04:29 We’ve got kids or grandkids her age. She was a first grader. She lived in Paradise, Texas, which is a very small rural community northwest of Fort Worth. And people who knew her described her as energetic, curious, and talkative. 04:47 She loved animals very much. She loved school. She loved learning. And like many kids her age, she had big dreams and a very vivid imagination. She was at a stage in life filled with discovery, reading new books and building friendships and looking forward to the holidays. 05:07 And in late November of 2022, when this was all happening, Christmas was approaching. Now, for children, Christmas carries a special kind of excitement. Now, if you’re like me, it carries an excitement for me, and I’m 58. 05:21 But it represents magic and anticipation and possibility. Athena was no different. Her stepmother had ordered a Christmas present
Julie Mattson: LIVE From Beyond The Crime 2026
In this episode of Pushing Up Lilies, I’m coming to you live from Beyond the Crime 2026 at the Isleta Casino and Resort! And instead of focusing on just one case, I’m sharing something a little more personal… and a lot more unpredictable. I take you through my journey from the emergency room to becoming a forensic death investigator, and how my perspective on death, trauma, and investigation completely transformed along the way. This career wasn’t something I ever imagined for myself, especially as someone who once feared death so deeply, but it became one of the most defining parts of my life. From there, I share some of the cases that have stayed with me over the years, the strange, the shocking, the heartbreaking, and yes… even the ones that make you shake your head and say, there’s no way that actually happened. Because in this field, no two scenes are ever the same. We’re talking about everything from unexpected discoveries and bizarre death scenes to the realities of working with families on the worst day of their lives. I also open up about the emotional weight of this work, the importance of mental health, and how I learned to balance compassion with professionalism in situations most people never experience. This episode is raw, real, and at times unbelievable, but it’s also a look behind the curtain at what death investigation truly looks like, beyond what you see on TV. And if you’ve ever wondered what it’s really like to do this job…this is one you won’t forget. * Listener discretion is advised. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT: 00:06 Welcome to Pushing Up Lilies. I’m your host, Julie Mattson. Pushing Up Lilies is a weekly true crime podcast with spine-tingling, unusual, and terrifyingly true stories from my perspective as a forensic death investigator and a sexual assault nurse examiner. 00:24 Do I have some stories for you? Are you ready? Hey, this is Julie with Pushing Up Lilies again here for another episode. I’m happy to be LIVE, here at the Isleta Casino and Resort, and we’re at Beyond the Crime. 00:43 So, this is really exciting. And I thought instead of like telling one specific story, I would kind of share a little bit about my career and then tell some stories that kind of stand out because some of them are strange, really strange. 00:57 So, if you told me, though, years ago that I was going to be around death, I would have said there’s absolutely no way. I was terrified of death when I was a kid. I was afraid of dying. Every day I thought that might be the last day I saw my parents. 01:09 So, it was really weird. Like I obsessed about it. So, it was really crazy that I ended up in this career field. I worked in the ER for a long time. I was a brand new nurse. And of course, I wanted to fix everything and help everybody get better and stabilize them. 01:24 And so, when someone died, I felt like a failure. I would go home and kind of feel defeated. Like, what did we do wrong? What could we have done different? It was just heavy, you know, just a heavy feeling. 01:37 I always felt like we’d done something wrong, even when I knew we did everything right. So it was, it was a weird guilt feeling. But I learned fast in the ER. It’s very fast, unpredictable. And we never knew what we were going to get. 01:50 Saw a lot of trauma, did a lot of CPR. And we still had to be calm, which was learned. Because at first, you just want to panic because everything’s going fast and people are hurting and screaming and crying and pushing their call bell. 02:06 And it’s just, you start to get frantic, but you can’t ever show it. So, we always had to stay calm, but it really built confidence and resilience in me and exposed me to a lot of situations that people never see. 02:20 CPR was always hard, especially when it was someone I knew. Many times, in a small town, you end up doing CPR on, I did CPR on my doctor. Like, yeah, he coded comes in, you know, and it was like, oh my God. 02:33 And he did not make it. And again, you just feel because I knew his family. I knew his dad. I knew his kids. But that silence is really heavy and is really hard for me when they gave up the fight. We had to give up the fight. 02:49 But I always saw people in their worst day, and I saw trauma and fear and illness and a lot of resilience. But I had to stay focused, and I found myself asking questions like beyond treatment. So that’s when I realized maybe I would be a good investigator, you know, like I want to be nosy, but we always want to ask questions that are inappropriate. 03:13 And so, when I got a job as a death investigator, it was my job. So, I could be nosy and I was getting paid for it. So, it was kind of cool. But I remember the first time I saw a death investigator come into the ER when we lost a patient. 03:26 And I think it was a hanging. He’s 80 years old now. So, he’s still alive. But I asked him, what can I do to get your job? And a lot of people ask me that now. And he’s like, go to all the trainings you can. 03:38 You don’t have to pay a million dollars but get a certificate that says you learned and keep it behind your resume and just keep building it. When people see your desire to learn and the fact that you’ve educated yourself, they will know that you’re serious about it and take you
Pedro Rodrigues Filho: The Man Who Killed Killers
Hey y’all, it’s Julie Mattson, and in this episode of Pushing Up Lilies, I’m taking you into one of the most complex and controversial cases I’ve ever explored, the story of Pedro Rodrigues Filho, also known as the Brazilian “Dexter”. This is not your typical serial killer case. Pedro didn’t just target innocent victims, he claimed to hunt criminals. Murderers. People he believed deserved to die. Over the course of his life, he confessed to dozens of killings, many of them carried out inside prison walls. And somehow, instead of fading into obscurity, he later reemerged as a public figure, sharing his story openly, even building a following online. But here’s the question that sits at the center of this case… Was he a vigilante delivering his own version of justice?Or simply a serial killer rewriting his narrative? In this episode, I walk through his early life, the violence that shaped him, and the psychology behind someone who blurs the line between revenge and murder. As a forensic death investigator, I also look at what cases like this reveal about motive, trauma, and the dangerous territory between justice and personal vengeance. Because when someone decides who deserves to live or die…we have to ask, where does that end? This episode contains discussions of violence, homicide, and moral ambiguity. * Listener discretion is advised. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT: 00:06 Welcome to Pushing Up Lilies. I’m your host, Julie Mattson. Pushing Up Lilies is a weekly true crime podcast with spine-tingling, unusual, and terrifyingly true stories from my perspective as a forensic death investigator and a sexual assault nurse examiner. 00:24 Do I have some stories for you? Are you ready? Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Pushing Up Lilies. My name is Julie. Again, I’m your host and I have my voice back, I think almost completely. I may be still a little bit squeaky, but hopefully you can tolerate me this time. 00:46 Super excited leaving Friday to go to Beyond the Crime, which is a true crime convention. And it happens April 11th and 12th in Albuquerque. And it’s going to feature advocacy for families of the missing and also feature several podcasts. 01:07 While I’m there, I will be part of the podcast Mingle, which is the first night we’re there. We’re going to get to visit a lot of the guests and the guests will get to meet all the podcasters that are there. 01:19 And we’ll be selling our merch at the merch tables. And then on Sunday, I will be doing a live podcast on the podcasting stage. So super exciting. We’re really gung-ho on going. We decided to fly. So I’m going to have luggage full of merchandise and I just hope I can get it all in there. 01:39 It’ll be fun. We’re really excited to go. This is our first event. And so traveling out of state is a really big deal for us. And so I’m looking forward to this and hoping for many more. I’ll be attending CrimeCon at the end of May. 01:53 And that’s an even bigger event. But I’m excited about this. There will be attention brought to some missing persons cases and some of the keynote speakers. Super interesting. There’s over 30 guest speakers, including the mothers of Gabby Petito and also the death row defense attorney for John Wayne Gacy. 02:18 It’s going to be interesting. It is ticketed. I’m excited. So I’d like to see who’s going. And if you are going, I would love for you to stop by and visit. I want to talk to you this week about the man who killed killers. 02:34 And I don’t know if y’all have heard this story before, but a lot of killers become infamous because of the number of people that they kill. But a lot of them become notorious because of how cruel or unpredictable their crimes are. 02:49 Ever so often, a criminal will emerge whose story unsettles people in a different way. And that’s not because the violence is random, but because it seems, at least on the surface, intentional and targeted. 03:05 Now, Pedro Rodriguez Filho was one of those men. Over the course of his life, he would kill at least 70 people. Some stories state that there were at least 100, but possibly more than 100. And many of his victims were criminals themselves, drug dealers, rapists, murderers. 03:27 And because of that, some people saw him not as a monster, but as a vigilante. Others believed he was simply a killer who tried to justify his actions with some sort of twisted moral code. But either way, his story would eventually earn him a nickname that echoed around the world as the real-life Dexter. 03:50 And many of you know about Dexter. Dexter aired from 2006 to 2013. It was set in Miami, and it was centered on Dexter Morgan. And he was a forensic technician who specialized in bloodstain pattern analysis for a fictional police department. 04:08 He led a secret parallel life as a vigilante serial killer, and he hunted down murderers who really weren’t adequately punished by the justice system. So this is the real life Dexter. Now, what makes this story so disturbing is not really just the number of people that he killed, but the way violence kind of shaped every stage of his life. 04:35 From the moment he was born, brutality surrounded him. It was present in his home, in his relationships, in his decisions, and then ultimately in his identity. To understand how Pedro became one of the most feared criminals in Brazil, we have to really begin at the beginning. 04:55 Before his first crime and before his first arrest and even before his first breath.
Spence and Mo’ Tepe: The Murdered Dentist and His Wife
On this episode of Pushing Up Lilies, we’re delving into the twisted tale of David Tronnes, a Florida man whose obsession with home renovations and dreams of reality TV stardom ended in murder.
Roadside Horror Revisited: Joe “The Cannibal” Metheny
In this bone-chilling episode, we delve into the horrifying tale of Serial Killer, Joe Metheny. Brace yourself as we uncover the dark and disturbing story of a seemingly ordinary food vendor who harbored a deadly secret. Join us as we navigate the twisted mind of Joe Metheny, exploring the shocking details of his crimes, his methods of luring unsuspecting victims, the unimaginable horrors he committed, and the customers that unknowingly consumed human flesh from his roadside food truck.
New Year’s Eve Murder Encore – Son Decapitates Mom
On New Years Eve in 2014, a son attacked his mother at their home and decapitated her with an ax, because she “nagged him” to do the chores.
